Photos by deSaint Studios
Family Life, Parenting

Jennifer Jouandot

By

Jennifer Jouandot is the epitome of resilience and warmth, serving as a steadfast source of optimism amidst life’s trials. With a big blended family comprising her husband, Ron, and their children Grace, Reed, Phoebe, Miles, Journey, Sonny, and Hope, Jennifer navigates the intricacies of motherhood with grace and determination. She embraces the chaos of daily life with open arms. Despite enduring the heartache of child loss and infertility, Jennifer’s spirit remains unbroken, fueled by her unwavering belief in the power of hope. She continues to share her story each and every day as her journey is truly a testament to the strength found in love, family, and the relentless pursuit of positivity.

WHAT DOES A NORMAL DAY LOOK LIKE FOR YOU?

JENNIFER: It depends on the day of the week. We have two or three lives, depending on how you look at it. On Mondays/Tuesdays, we have six at home, so we get up, get the little ones ready, and try not to wake up the baby while we get them fed and off to school. Then, we try to work out, I’ll take the baby to get ready with me, and we’re off to work. After work, we rush back across the lake to pick up one from dance, then get the other little kids. Then, it’s dinner, and I feed the baby. It’s chaotic at night– as you can imagine– there’s no shortage of laundry or dishes. On the weekends it’s just Ron, me, and the baby. So that’s why I say we have three lives: it’s different when we have six kids, then two, then the one. Before we had Hope, every other weekend we loved to travel, explore, and go see places. We still do that with her– she’s very very chill, and it’s allowed us to not miss a beat and keep doing what we like to do. With all of the craziness, we almost need that every-other-weekend “us time” to be the best parents we can be. 

WHAT ARE SOME JOYS AND CHALLENGES OF BEING A MOM?

JENNIFER: There are so many things that bring me joy. If you’ve seen anything I’ve posted, Hope is the baby after the storm. I cannot complain about any aspect of being a mom to a baby: the late nights, the fussiness… It’s just been magical. She’s been a joy to me and has healed my heart, but she’s also made us a family. We had all been together for a couple years before her, but now we all have this one mutual person. From the moment I knew I was pregnant, everyone was excited, and when she got there, it bonded us. Everyone has memories of Sonny as a baby, but Journey and I weren’t there, so it’s nice we’re all creating these memories together now. It’s nice to see my stepkids bond and have this love for my child. It’s made me a better stepmom, honestly, and I get a lot of joy seeing them interact. There’s always joy in motherhood if you’re looking for it. Sure, there are a lot of things I could complain about, but if I chose to be negative with seven kids, I’d be a miserable person. The hardest challenges, we’ve gotten over. [Ron and I] have really come together in our parenting. 

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR PARENTING STYLE?

JENNIFER: We try to be the parents that they can come to with anything. But there’s a line. Before, [Ron] was just the “friend.” And now, we’re harder on them. They all have certain things they’re expected to do, they put in work, and they get what they want as a result. We do expect a good amount from them, but I think it’s making them stronger people. They respect us more for it, and they come to us with everything. I’m very proud that, even my stepkids, will come to us together to talk about things. It means a lot. 

HOW DID YOU FOSTER CONNECTIONS WITH YOUR HUSBAND’S CHILDREN AT THE BEGINNING OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

JENNIFER: We kind of just did. In hindsight, we probably went too fast. The truth is, we had plans to get married and move in together later than we did, and then Hurricane Ida hit. I lost power [in New Orleans], went to stay with him, and never really came back. [The kids] have a lot of different personalities, and I was trying to get to know each of them and work with what I had. It was harder with the older ones. I had a four-year-old, and to magically have three teenagers was a lot. We did butt heads in the beginning, but over time, we’ve found things to connect on. Like with Grace now, we both have babies the same age, and we talk all the time. For Reed, it was hard, but we connected over music. Our middle daughter is a dancer, so I try to encourage her. We started running together and we got to bond. So it was just the little things: getting to know each personality and working my way in. I’m at a different place still with each of them, but I’m way further ahead than in the beginning. I had to take the approach of looking through their eyes, and I had to humble myself. 

WHAT IS SOMETHING YOUR CHILDREN HAVE TAUGHT YOU ABOUT YOURSELF?

JENNIFER: Because of them, [Ron and I] have had to become incredible communicators together. This relationship would have fallen apart if we couldn’t communicate. When it comes to parenting and making changes, he is very open to criticism. When you tell him something, he thinks about it and very quickly puts it into action. They’ve also taught us patience and that there’s nothing we can’t do. The hardest part of our relationship is, honestly, raising these kids and trying not to screw them up. There have been hard things, and we have gotten through every single struggle, and here we are. It’s what we hope to teach them. They’re teaching us that we can get through hard things, and we hope to demonstrate the same to them, be it the way we handle little things or the big losses. 

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING TO DO AS A FAMILY?

JENNIFER: I’m all for making memories, so we love the parades and love festivals. They don’t like to just sit at home. But when we are home, we do like to play games. The little ones are always bored. Some of our favorite memories are at the pumpkin patch. Even the older ones get a lot of joy out of seeing the little ones enjoy stuff, which is actually magical. Any little getaway we can have with them means a lot.  

IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WISH YOU COULD HAVE TOLD YOURSELF BEFORE BECOMING A MOM?

JENNIFER: I am a planner. My perfect scenario was that I was going to start having kids at 21 and be done by the time I turned 28– which is when I actually started. So I would tell myself, you just have to roll with it. You cannot plan everything, and I still have to tell myself that every day. I like to know what’s coming next, but simply, you can’t. You just have to have faith and hope that it’s going to turn out right. Parenthood is never knowing what’s coming next. You just have to trust that it’s going to turn out even better than you imagined. I didn’t have my husband at 25. Why? He was married to someone else having these kids! I was over here praying for him, but it wasn’t time yet. And now, look what I have. I used to say I wanted 12 kids, and now here I am more than halfway there. This is where I feel like I was meant to be. 

HOW DID YOU AND RON STAY CONNECTED WHILE DEALING WITH YOUR LOSS?

JENNIFER: We went for his [vasectomy] reversal, and that day the doctor told us “Everything looks great! You’ll be pregnant in no time!” And then we ended up going through a brief stint of infertility. The numbers weren’t good right away, and it was a really really hard time. So getting to the point where “Yay! We’re pregnant,” I went to the first ultrasound being anxious because I knew what could happen. We went to the first one, and the baby’s squirming around, heart beating, and I felt like I could get excited. We told all the kids and then went to the next ultrasound the next week. But her heart wasn’t beating anymore. Initially, to answer the question, we were stronger, more bonded, and inseparable. We naturally fell into each other [for support], because who else would get it? [Ron] was my rock, and I was that for him too. 

After the first week, you go into a different stage of grief. I wanted to blame someone. I was mad at him, I was mad at God, and I was mad at everybody. There’s this anger that you have naturally, and thinking about how he had four kids with someone else, I thought, “What if we’re incompatible?” 

Ultimately, it was faith that got me through it. I’m a Christian, and I clung to one certain verse that said, “I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born,” (Isaiah 66:9). You also need a little humor, which is what we try to bring to our page. You don’t see a lot of people talk about this online, so it was mind-blowing to me how many people came to me saying, “I’ve been there,” “I get it,” “I’m sorry.” That was one more thing that made [Ron and I] really, really strong, was going through this tragedy together. 

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO PARENTS WHO HAVE ALSO DEALT WITH CHILD LOSS OR INFERTILITY?

JENNIFER: I named my baby to be able to answer this question. We named her Jolie Hope– Jolie after the baby before her– “Beautiful” Hope. You can’t lose hope. Never give up. There might be a hundred obstacles, you might lose one, you might lose two or three, but guess what? If you stop after the loss, it’s never going to happen. She’s been my reminder. I’ve had really hard times. But all of the hard times eventually pass if you keep a positive, hopeful, faithful mindset. You have to keep hope in any situation, whether it be child loss, or you want to get out of your job, whatever. If you have a close-minded, “I quit” attitude, you’re never going to get to where you want to be. 

Quick Qs

This article was originally published in May 2024.

Newsletter Signup

Your Weekly guide to New Orleans family fun. NOLA Family has a newsletter for every parent. Sign Up